When you hit bottom, the only way left is up.

[Continued from Post: A change of scenery!]

Our view every morning on Krokholmen.

16 August

I suppose nothing’s ‘felt right’ in the group for a week and a half. Maybe my aggressive explosion at Tomek (& indirectly Andrzej) caused some irreversible damage for the group. I don’t know what to say about that... I do have a knack for blowing things a) out of the water, and b) out of proportion, so perhaps the whole team vibe has just evolved. Sure, shit happened, but if this is what it evolved to, then that’s that. I forgive people who are sorry, if people don’t pay me the same courtesy, there’s nothing I can do. Do I try to win people over? Why care? Not that I’ll be adversarial or anything, but my usual reasonably decent self, but to try to ‘be liked’ is such a pain in the ass, and I’ve ‘been there, done that’ many times before. Just have balls and friendliness. Who knows?

It is frustrating sometimes that the Poles always speak Polish, making me feel isolated, but not alone. That’s the worst combination—isolated but not alone. If I’m isolated, I’d rather be alone.

This could only be painted when the tide was out.

We’re half way through the trip. It’s getting hard because I’ve now been sick for a week, and we’re working 12-13 hour days, and even if we work these hours EVERY DAY until we leave, by our calculations, we may still not net €2000, my minimum target. I was a little disappointed at the start when Piotr negotiated 80 Kr./hour for the stonework job because that was hard labour that we’re still paying for with the pain in our hands that is still present. Oh well. I just think we’re not benefitting with hourly pay at these rates, though for the stonework it was necessary to be paid hourly.

I know it’s just 2 more weeks. Not that I hate it here, but I’m going a little crazy feeling that our group is always the same. Decent guys, really good guys, but I’m tired of seeing them every day. It has nothing to do with them. I can’t be around anyone this long, except perhaps a girlfriend. But what girlfriend? For me right now, a girlfriend exists in a barren wasteland on the outskirts of my dreams.

Those racks on the left were used in old times to dry fish.

There just isn’t enough time to chill out. To recharge, to get sanity back. To get my energy back.

17 August

I tell myself it isn’t forever. 14 days in fact. We may not have steady work until the end of the month, so doesn’t mean 14 days of straight working, though I’d prefer to be working than not.

Today was a nice working day, for reasons unknown to me. It was rainy, I’m still sick and I didn’t get that long of a sleep. Maybe it’s because it was primarily Tomek and I working together, laughing alot, etc. Didn’t see much of Piotr and Andrzej today, which is OK from the perspective of having ‘variety’. I still haven’t fully connected with Andrzej yet. This trip doesn’t have to be some ‘Band of Brothers’; an experience we all never forget, where we bond for life, etc. It’s a long month of work, case closed.

We had the delicious ‘Fiskesuppe’ again after work. Yummy. Fernando (the permanent cook/manager here) is really such a great guy. Nice, helpful, chatty, will make us coffee. Tonight I did my online banking from a Sony PSP over a wireless net connection. Fucking crazy! Welcome to the Future.

This is not Fiskesuppe. This is improvised Polish garlic and pate soup with coucous. Suprisingly good for someone who otherwise vomits at the taste of chicken liver pate.



18 August

I think all is well now. Today was a good day and I think I’ve found peace of mind in this situation. I daresay I’m now having fun...? Well, not entirely, but within the context of a 12 hour workday, every day, I’d say I feel pretty good.

[Photo:] We had to strip the paint off this building with heat guns and scrapers. The wood itself is so old, that in previous times they used to impregnate the wood with fish oil, but sadly it's chemically incompatible with modern paint, making modern paint flake off easily, unless you do what we did here, before applying new paint. Surprisingly therapeutic work. One of my favourite tasks of the whole month in fact.

We were told that our work is guaranteed until Monday. Then we found 2 more 2 man jobs. One re-flooring job, and later on, one concrete foundation job. In addition to this, Per Gørseth will be arriving tomorrow, and will likely be able to keep us working here longer. Just have to wait and see.

I wish I had time by a computer to type a story, because today I feel so inspired to write a short story about a Norwegian Police officer who came to the island today for a visit, and how we were told by Per Jørgen to keep a low profile, and if the Policeman asks, we are all Canadian students in Oslo. The bullshit I’ve been conjuring up in my head all day was really great, but will I be inspired to write it next time I’m in front of a PC? You gotta take these vibes and run with them; you can’t just get them back later... in the wise words of our good friend Dr. Lafferty:

“Good ideas are not like taking a shit. You can’t just sit down and drop a good idea. They’re more like getting laid - you have to be in the right place at the right time, then all you need do is go with it.”